Surat Kapten (Part 2)

A face that really longed for what he had.

He was pale, why? his body lay, sakitkah? He did not pick me up like the others, is not held me and just smiled wistfully at me. My chest tightened, do not understand on what actually had happened. I'm sick to see it like that, seeing a captain who had always looked up straight now seems withered. The more terseoklah steps when the distance between us is shrinking.

Vibrating breath, pushed from a pair of my lungs. There are a bundle of pain radiating stuck in the artery is when my eyes met the eyes of the captain.
The white bed seemed to be a witness of my heart necrosis. Witness pile of regret that ensnare and cheerfully tore a rasaku. I'm sorry, why did I betray? I also regret, why should I leave? I sincerely regret it, so how could myself to make it up like this?

"How are you, buddy?" Softly surprise me, trying to keep smiling.
My hands move quickly grabbed my chest is increasingly crowded. His voice, I know, no longer as firmly once when he was scolded or commemorate. And her smile, I also know that he must strive for such a sincere smile. I smiled bitterly, hiding my defenses were almost collapsed and broke into pieces.
"You, pretend memperdulikanku, huh?" I'm sure, all my friends looked at me with a look of wonder and growling. "I know, you're just lying in the letter. You do not really miss me. You just made me not to deny Rinduku own. You just want to laugh at me, are not you? You want to say that I would not be able to survive without a captain who is acting great in my side? do not expect you could do it! "
"What did you say, hahh !! Basic does not know himself! "Inuzuka Ren grabbed my collar and I saw seemed ready to strangle me. Just like the others, except Kawada who was looking at me pity mingled pity. I grimaced grip of Ren and withstand continuous tightness bind my body.
However, before the well-built man was actually made out of breath, hoarseness Shino Mouri back sound.
"Naruhito Kyazein you're right, I did not miss you. I do not expect you to be present here, is not that just would embarrass my situation is not it? "
"No! Do not say that, please ... "I begged her reflexes, fast as I could.

Lukaku is now wide open, can not conceal anymore and seems so obvious with the smell of regret that evaporates. I closed my eyes slowly, hold sore which had felt since the captain said things I never knew before. I was ready with all the invective and sergahannya, but I never thought that he would recognize the situation and make sesakku increasingly meyesakkan, even there is no place for disesakkan.
Why do you have to say it, why do you have to admit it. And I hope you yell, you snapping like before. But ...
Offhand I fell at his bedside. Kneel. No matter with all the stares of friends who wonder will change my attitude. Maybe .. maybe just Kawada who know everything, maybe only one who understands what he actually felt. And also the captain.
"Why? Why do not you say in the letter? Why? I thought .. I thought you just fine .. "I sighed. Shaking.
"I'm sorry .." lirihku again. "I am wrong .."
"No. You're not one of Naru, "interrupted the captain, shaking his head weakly. "Me, I was wrong in this case. I am not responsible as a captain. I let myself, I let you handle the problem alone, stupid me .. I do not understand how you feel as a member, I'm not trying to .. Aargh .. "
I bit my lip. It seemed, this body rumble. Too sick to see a captain who so love you now lying while holding the pain. Now holding his chest because of the pressure that I thought lara incredible pain. Now the melancholy moaning that all that groped sore pangs. Ditenat muffled moan now seems very claustrophobic tightness.

And I realized, now I sobbed. There was no word that I can say, no matter segerakkan this body shifted, except tremble because sobs. Then Kawada outstretched arm holding my shoulders, trying to comfort me like a brother who embrace and wiped her sister's arms crying because the ice cream had just bought falls.

The captain closed his hand raised and then when holding the thin arms. My tears fell again, with a swift, as will flood the bed with white bed linen. All was silent and let the voice of my weeping filled the room.
"Hold on .." lirihku beruasaha reminded that I was still there beside him to give him strength. "For me .. for us all .. I promise I will not repeat it again."